August 2010

I am now over the same ocean, but in another direction transiting home to Sweden to meet my family after ten amazing days. Ten days that has taught me so much. Ten days with incredible experiences and companionship. Ten days of peace, happiness, and excitement. It has truly been an incredible and wonderful time. All thanks to the dearest person to me.

The trip has very much proven to me where I want to be and why. These ten days have amazed me in so many ways. So many impressions. They have shown me what really matters and ultimately guided me into the path I probably already knew in my heart is right, but in some ways was afraid to pursue. How that path can become reality is another problem however, but time will tell how that will happen.

I am sad to leave. I wish I could stay. I have many reasons why, but I will not go into details. Yet primarily it is one reason. I do believe the place and company are right. It is right on all levels.

I have mixed feelings flying here over the ocean. Part of me just wanted to stay, and part of me look forward to see my family. It has been a long time since I last saw them.

One thing is for sure. It felt and feels empty leaving… It felt like home to the soul.

(I wrote this blog 10 days ago and didn’t get a chance to post it. However I still do think it fulfills a value.)

I am right now at 38,000 feet over the ocean. Flying over an ocean I have never ever been over. My destination is a place at which I have never been. Never been… Never been in so many ways. My destination is not only a completely new country and environment for me, but it is also a completely new experience on so many levels.

My feelings are very much a combination of delight, excitement, anticipation and curiosity. All weaved together into sincere and profound happiness.

The decision was made a few weeks back, when I woke up with a very clear mind that this is what I should do. A few friends have asked my why I chose this path, yet they know me. This is the trip for me at this time with this iternary.

Parts of my trip will have some direct meaning for what I do daily but predominantly the trip will guide me in ways I cannot foresee other than I know this is the experience I need to have now. Not because of a lack, but as a foundation for growth.

Experiences are funny. They should be had, but never “constructed”, yet so many people try to construct or dictate their reality. Certain things cannot be changed and certainly not when they give us peace, happiness and joy. You always have to be honest to your soul even though it could complicate your life. In all honesty I too try to construct my reality, but it seems as the more I try to construct the experience after what I would like it to be the less it becomes that way. Part of me do feel the quest between mind and heart, but I do know my happiness resides in my heart and not mind.

I do believe that maybe this trip will teach me to listen in ways I haven’t been able or have before. What I will ultimately listen to, I don’t know. What I do know is that just knowing it will teach me to listen in new ways gives me a tickling feeling in my stomach.

A tickling, exciting feeling. I love it.